160+ Funny Whatsapp Status and Bio Ideas

Are you looking for new and creative Whatsapp Status and Bio Ideas? If so, you’ve come to the right place! In this blog post, we will be sharing 160 of the most creative Whatsapp Status and Bio Ideas that you can use to spice up your profile and show off your personality. Whether you’re looking for a funny quip, an inspirational quote, or something in between, this post has something for everyone. So get ready to take your Whatsapp status and bio to the next level!

Related: 100+ Best Good Night Whatsapp Status And Captions

Funny Whatsapp Status and Bio Ideas

  • I’m not actually this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet.
  • I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.
  • I drink to make other people interesting.
  • Why God, why? Why do beautiful girls not have brains?
  • Guilty as charged! My hotness caused global warming.
  • I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle! He’s dreaming too.
  • Everything is funnier when you’re supposed to be quiet.
  • Life is like an ice cream Enjoy it before it melts.
  • I love my Haters, they make me Famous.
  • Keep moving! Nothing new to read…
  • Don’t drink while driving – you will spill the beer.
  • I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  • Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
  • Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
  • You don’t like me. That’s a shame. I’ll need a few minutes to recover from the tragedy.
  • I don’t have an attitude problem. I have an attitude. The problem is yours.
  • I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
  • I work for money, for loyalty hire a dog.
  • The smile on your face is radiant, the glow on your cheeks is beautiful, and my lips on your lips would be magical.
  • I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is… Scaring men is easy.
  • Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
  • I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
  • Just another papercut survivor.
  • If you are BAD then I am your DAD.
  • Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
  • In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.
  • My drug test came back negative. My dealer sure has some explaining to do.
  • Life was much easier when APPLE and BLACKBERRY were just fruits.
  • The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once!
  • I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
  • I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.
  • Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
  • Me? Mature? I still laugh when the ketchup bottle “FARTS”.
  • My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
  • Never laugh at your partner’s choices… You’re one of them.
  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation.
  • I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.
  • Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed calls… Turns volume too loud- Nobody calls all day!
  • I’m not single. I’m not taken. I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves my heart.
  • With great power comes to a great electricity bill.
  • Yes, of course, I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.
  • Take care of your status, don’t be a caretaker of my status.
  • Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
  • I follow the quote, “Always Be True To Yourself” because I only lie to others!

Also Check: 65 GoodBye Status For Whatsapp And Facebook

Stylish Whatsapp Status and Bio Ideas

  • I’m writing a paper for my Ph.D., now please tell me what is the most overused pick-up line you have ever heard?
  • I haven’t slept for 10 days because that would be too long.
  • What is your mom’s phone number? I want to thank her for creating you.
  • Naturally and artificially flavored.
  • Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.
  • I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.
  • Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
  • Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
  • Silence is the best response to a fool.
  • If you tickle me, I’m not responsible for your injuries.
  • Women may not hit harder. But they hit lower.
  • They say “Love is in the air.” Maybe that’s why there is so much air pollution these days.
  • I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.
  • Be smarter than your smartphone.
  • Never give up on your dreams keep sleeping.
  • If you’re talking behind my back, you’re in the perfect position to kiss my a**!
  • Babe, you are so fine. The only way you could look better is by hanging on my arm.
  • Stop checking my last seen, text me when you miss me.
  • I am not perfect, but I am a limited edition.
  • Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
  • Speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
  • My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
  • Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.
  • I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
  • If you treat me like an option, I’ll leave you like a choice.
  • If I were a stoplight, I’d turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
  • Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
  • People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.
  • Can I take your picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
  • I’m too lazy to stop being lazy.
  • If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
  • Sassy, classy, and bad-assy.
  • The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said.
  • Life is like ice cream, enjoy it before it melts.
  • They say good things take time… that’s why I’m always late.
  • I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
  • Excuse me, but I saw you from across the internet and wanted to see if your bytes are compatible with mine.
  • Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.
  • Who needs television when there is so much drama on Whatsapp?

Also Read: 90+ Sad Status Messages For Whatsapp

Small Quotes for WhatsApp bio

  • The police called to say one of my friends escaped from a mental hospital. Which one of you crazies got out and where should I pick you up?
  • Save water drink beer.
  • First, they laugh. Then they copy.
  • My six-pack is protected by a layer of fat.
  • Congratulations! My tallest finger wants to give you a standing ovation.
  • My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
  • Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
  • For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am still living, but heaven has been brought to me.
  • Life without mistakes is like, education without books.
  • Even the Joker is jealous of my smile.
  • If you wear a bikini you’re showing 90% of your body. I’m so polite, I only look at the covered parts.
  • Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.
  • I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.
  • I love my job only when I’m on vacation…..
  • I would lose weight, but I hate losing.
  • Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me I will laugh at you.
  • Just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
  • I know what you did recently – you just read this status message!
  • If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
  • Friends are forever until they get in a relationship.
  • The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.
  • Whenever I find the key to SUCCESS, someone changes the LOCK.
  • If I’m vinegar, then you must be baking soda. Because you make me feel all bubbly inside!
  • I want to get close with you like, shoes with laces, teeth with braces or asentencewithoutspaces.
  • You cannot stop the waves but you can learn to surf.
  • So, you’re checking my status.
  • Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.
  • Home is where the bra isn’t.
  • I’m not a photographer, but I can picture myself and you together.
  • Shopping is an art. I am an artist. Respect Please.
  • Dear problems… Please give me some discount… I am your regular customer.
  • I stopped fighting with my inner demons. We are on the same side now.
  • I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Related: 106+ Best Motivational Whatsapp Status Captions And Quotes

WhatsApp bio for life

  • Wait, where am I? And how in the world did I get here?
  • We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
  • Hey, you are reading my status again?
  • If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
  • There’s always a person that you hate for no reason.
  • The only time SUCCESS comes before WORK is in Dictionary.
  • I heard you’re a player. Nice to meet you, I’m the coach.
  • This will be my last WhatsApp Bio ever.
  • I don’t need keys to drive you crazy. I have something else….. guess it!
  • Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday.
  • Hey you, yeah I’m talking to you, why the hell are you reading my “Whatsapp Bio”?
  • Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
  • Every Whatsapp status is a secret message for someone.
  • I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!
  • I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
  • Save paper, Don’t do homework.
  • Okay, I’m pretty sure this isn’t my home planet.
  • I wish I could mute people in real life.
  • The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
  • I was wondering if you had an extra heart. Mine was just stolen.
  • I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
  • If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you.
  • I don’t get older, I level up.
  • Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing the pen drive safely.
  • You may fall from the sky, you may fall from the tree, but the best way to fall….is in love with me.
  • I would call my fashion style “clothes that still fit.”
  • Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.
  • I swear it if looks could kill, I’d be a weapon of mass destruction.
  • Make your weird light shine bright, so the other weirdos know where to find you.
  • Life taught me a lot of lessons but I banked those classes.
  • You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
  • I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  • Life is too short to be updating WhatsApp Bios.
  • I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.
  • How can I miss something I never had?
  • I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
  • I feel sorry for the person who writes terms and conditions… nobody read that.
  • This Dog, Is Dog, A Dog, Good Dog, Way Dog, To Dog, Keep Dog, An Dog, Idiot Dog, Busy Dog, For Dog, 30 Dog, Seconds Dog!… Now read without the word dog.
  • A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
  • Someday you’ll go far, and I hope you stay there.
  • I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.
  • I don’t need a hairstylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
  • Think about it… every time we look back at ourselves five years ago we think we were an idiot.
  • I put my heart and soul into my work and lost my brain in the process.
  • Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.
  • Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.

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